Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
