and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
