it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
