Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
