ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
