if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
