3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
should my penis look like a turkey
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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