After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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