Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
