Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize