She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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