Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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