Just cropdusted the office
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
