My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
