one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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