Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
MIDGETS
????
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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