My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
please come you make the beer taste better
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Even my vagina gasped.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
