you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize