fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
