I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
