Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize