Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
