Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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