There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
