It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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