Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
