I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
