every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
