Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
