Just cropdusted the office
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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