So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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