I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
