you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
