im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
