i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
