no, he came in my armpit
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
