he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize