you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
