I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
