so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
