allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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