Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
