do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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