Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
