I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
