No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
