I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
