STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
