just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
