So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
