Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
