I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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