Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
