Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
