My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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