i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
