I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
