): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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