BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize