fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize