Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
