what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
